Reframe critical self-talk

Self-criticism takes place in different forms. For example, the inner critic threatens ("You are going to fail"), monitors weaknesses or mistakes ("You messed it up again"), commands ("You should stop acting like a fool"), and judges ("You don't look good"). Self-criticism can be quite distressing and often results in negative emotions like fear, shame, and guilt.

Here are a few tips for managing that little gremlin in your head:

1. Name the critical voice. That way, you can create some space between you and the voice. Then, call it out when it shows up in your head. This allows you to be the observer, giving you the power to let those negative thoughts float right by.

2. Notice the thoughts without judgment, and do not fight the inner critic. Replying to a negative inner voice with another negative voice will likely increase frustration and internal conflict, strengthening the inner critic.

3. Question if what it is saying is true. This is SO important! Thoughts are not facts.

4. If there is some truth to what the inner critic is saying, you will notice the tone is cruel and leaves no room for improvement. Shift to compassion and think about how you can use the inner critic’s feedback in a more motivating and constructive way.

5. Think about what you would say to a loved one or child in the same situation. Now use these words to rephrase what you say to yourself.

Having an inner critic is part of the human experience, but you can manage it with practice and remaining mindful throughout your day.